A Mother's Love Makes Everything Better

HIIIIIIII!!!!

Sorry sorry sorry I haven't updated in a month! I wanted to finish my internship strong after I had that one moment. I'm sorry for making a lot of people worry, but I'm happy to say that I survived and am finally in Seoul! But more on that later..... :)

My mom came to Tokyo after my internship finished to keep me company before I left for Seoul. It was so nice having her there. I really missed the comforts of home so my mom coming to visit was the perfect remedy!

We hung out in Tokyo for a few days and I showed her some of my favorite spots to hang out. She also got a chance to meet both my host families! I also took her to all of the places that I worked at during my internship. As a mother, she was really comforted seeing where I went and worked everyday.

After we hung out in Tokyo, we headed to Kyoto to embrace our inner history nerds! Kyoto is known for being the old capital. It had some really cool temples and extraordinary old buildings.

The whole time we were in Kyoto, we kept noticing the looming typhoon headed towards the Korean Peninsula. My mom suggested we head back to Tokyo early so that I could take an earlier flight and not be delayed. So we did just that. I was sad that I had to leave Japan a day early and that I didn't get a chance to give my mom a proper goodbye (I wont see anyone from home again until Christmas), but I was excited to get to Seoul. So here I am. Moved into my new dorm, making new friends, and trying to remember all of my Korean (right now my Korean has a heavy Japanese accent and I use a lot of Japanese vocab)!!

Enough chatter... It's picture time!! :)

Mamas died everyday in the heat and humidity. It was about 36 degrees C in Asakusa, Tokyo that day. She came prepared with cooling towels though! She looked like such a tourist. 

We had an obsession with collagen face packs when we were here. We would go to every drug store and buy out the stock so that mom could take them home and give them to family members and friends. One old employee noticed how much we like them and gave us free collagen drinks. He said they worked better than the packs, but they tasted like medicine! 

I love this picture. We rode the shinkansen (bullet train) to and from Kyoto and took goofy pictures on my mom's phone the whole time. 

Getting our fix of American food after weeks of Japanese food. Absolutely obligatory.

The previously mentioned face packs. They work wonders! I love asian skin care products.

Mamas and me at the Meiji Shrine in Harajuku, Tokyo!
I love you mommy!

All in all, I would not be where I am if it wasn't for the love and support of my family and especially my mother. She has supported me at my absolute worst and at my very best. I aspire to be just like her when I grow up and become a mom. I'm so thankful that she took time out of her busy schedule to come see me all the way across the world. Thank you mamas, you mean the world to me! :)

is the grass always greener?

So this post will be nothing like my previous posts. No pictures... No cool stories... 

This is going to be more of a diary entry to myself. A post that I need to write to clear my mind...

It’s not that I’m unhappy, but rather extremely stressed... no, exhausted... Stress from exhaustion? Today was one of the darker days of my fairy tale. One of those days where you need a good cry or a shoulder to lean on. Today was one of those days where I needed to release everything that I’m feeling through a good outlet but couldn’t. I honestly felt like giving up today. For no good reason, either. I wanted to walk out of work and be back in America... back in my own bed. back with my family. my sister. my brothers. 

People had told me before I came here that this was going to be difficult, but I didn’t realize how difficult it actually is. Not because I can’t do anything. My confidence in my own abilities isn’t wavering. My need for familiarity is growing. 

By no means does this mean I’m throwing in the towel. I just need to vent. To take a moment and feel sorry for myself about how hard of a situation this really is. 

Maybe I just need sleep, but this isn’t what I want to be feeling while I’m living my dream. Or is this really what I wanted? I know what I want now.. the most comforting thing would be to be able to speak English... for ten... no five minutes. And not through this. In person... face-to-face... with someone that’s not Rob. Even he has blended into Japan. 

I’m so tired. I don’t want to sleep on a futon in a non-airconditioned house tonight. I know I sound like a completely spoiled brat in saying that but right now I don’t care. They can’t understand English let alone read it. 

I don’t regret this decision to come here at all but right now it’s just one of those days where I need familiarity. Everything here is so different. 

Every morning that voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I need sleep.

This is all a process of finding myself and who I really am. I need to be patient. Deep breaths. And rest. 

藤巻ご家族へ

ごめんなさい